Online Dating, Oy! – DP#70

91st-heart-1OK… I’m not cut out for this online dating thing. Not at all!!!

Before I start telling my tales of woe, please understand I know many of you out there have had great success and have found your soul mate online. Congratulations, I am so happy for you… really. But me? Nope… not happening.

A year ago I tried match.com… and have nothing but horror stories to share. Between crazies from Texas saying they would fly out to visit me every weekend… if I was really their true love (gag) to a really nice, intelligent guy who I enjoyed very much until he became possessive and insisted I email no one but him… and he was in Dubai at the time and we have never met!! A real time meeting with one guy became too ‘hands on’ for a first date… and the best date I had was with a neighbor, who I already knew but he found me online so we thought we’d give it a try. Yeah… neighbors is all we will ever be.

This weekend was ‘free communication’ time on eHarmony, so I thought I would give it a try. Without signing up for their paid content, I could at least converse with interested guys, even if I couldn’t see them. Lucky for me I was raised that looks are not as important as what’s inside a person. I felt comfortable communicating with guys I couldn’t see. At least that way I get to really know them without pre-judging.

While filling out my profile I was taken aback at the question of what nationalities I would be interested in. I’ll be honest… I have never thought that way before. I talk to every one… no matter what religion, nationality, or skin color… and if there is ‘chemistry’ then, there’s ‘chemistry. I felt awkward having to choose.

After I answered all the silly questions of what movies I like, books I read, activities I enjoy and more… I was off and running. BING… Bing, bing, bing!!! I was getting ‘smiled’ at every few seconds. Too many guys named Joseph!!! I was getting confused.

I spent the morning answering so many questions as to my likes and dislikes. Which traits will MAKE or BRAKE a possible relationship. Whoa!!! Relationship?? Hold on… I’m only looking for a POSSIBILITY of a relationship.

One guy was kind of interesting; however when I said I wasn’t interested in going to the gym 4 days a week, he ended our communication with, “I hope you find the right guy.” What??? Was he looking for a pal to go to the gym with or a girl to date??? Again… I’m confused.

Some of the questions you are asked really make you ‘soul search’. One guy asked me… “What kind of relationship are you hoping for?”

Yikes! Speak about being put on the spot!!!! After thinking long and hard I answered…

I am not a one night stand kind of girl. I believe in relationships and commitment. I am looking for someone to share my experiences and life with. Someone to wish me good night, someone to always take my phone calls. Someone to walk hand in hand with me. I want a guy who smiles broadly when I enter the room and when I see him my heart skips a beat. It’s really very simple.

To which He replied, “Good Luck.”

Huh! I didn’t think I was asking for too much. Was I?

I have been complimented more in one day than I have in my entire life. “Dang, you are so attractive” to “I love the way you write” have filled my inbox… and yet our communications all end the same… “Good Luck”… moving on… except for one. One guy rose to the top. He stuck with me all day. However, I see red flags beginning to flap in the breeze. By tomorrow evening we will be tired of each other.

I have made up my mind to NOT sign up for eHarmony. Thinking about what I really want has made me realize I will not find it answering stupid questions from strangers online. That system may work for many others, but not for me.

At one time I felt I had it all. Those days are just a faded memory now. If I should stumble upon some guy who can make me feel like that again… I would be ecstatic. In the mean time I will keep doing what I’m doing, living each day as it comes. If it’s meant to be, it will happen… but it will have to be without the help of the Internet.

 

What’s in YOUR Closet? – DP#69

Today I made the executive decision to work on cleaning out my closet. I moved in here almost three years ago so using that as a timeline I made the rule if I haven’t worn the item since I have lived here… then it needs to GO.

Easier said than done my friends.

Some decisions were easy. My soft, old body will never again be able to wear a fitted shirt… so all of the Oxford cloth shirts in a size I haven’t seen in YEARS are now in the donation bag. Besides, now I won’t even consider purchasing a shirt that needs ironing. Pants with legs so wide you can make two pair out of them, and have enough left over to make a pillow… in the bag. Shoes that haven’t seen daylight in three years… bag them.

As I hold up a black sweater with bat wing arms I wonder, “What in the world was I thinking?” In the bag it goes.

On the other hand, donating some items are like throwing a part of yourself away. For example… my roller blades.

roller blades

 

My friend Brian put his roller blades on my feet  (with 3 pair of socks to make them fit) 9 years ago. I had so much fun I came home and bought my own pair that same day. I remember a few weeks later roller blading around the parking lot of the Long Term Care Facility my husband was staying in. He was grinning from ear to ear watching me. Somewhere there is a photo of me that day… and you can see the pure joy on my face… or maybe it was terror. Anyway… a few years later, while walking the dog one night I fell and broke my ankle… and never roller bladed again. That era of my life is gone forever. I put them in the bag.

Right behind them went the dressy black high heels with the rhinestone trim.

high heels

I wore them only once to a black tie event. The only reason they made it to the new house at all was I kept thinking that one day I would wear them for my boyfriend, with a black trench coat, a strand of pearls, and a smile 🙂 Yeah… apparently that happens only in movies. We are no longer together and I’m too shy to show my wrinkled birthday suit to any one.

My white ‘power jacket’ I wore while traveling on business… in the bag. I loved that jacket and felt like a million bucks in it. That jacket SCREAMED success! Freshly cut hair, manicured nails, tailored black slacks… wow, I made heads turn. “STEP ASIDE… Successful business woman coming through.” It is sad to see it go, but it too, like me is out of date, a little yellow around the edges, and ready to retire.

Some things I couldn’t part with… the Princeton Sweatshirt my son gave me for Christmas one year; my ex-boyfriend’s oversized, bulky, wool sweater I love to cuddle in on cold winter days; the gown I wore to my daughter’s wedding (hey, ya never know when you might need a gown again).

Last, but certainly not least I finally decided to donate my martini pants.

Martini pants

 

Originally I purchased these as a gift for my sister-in-law… but decided to keep them for myself. The design on the front is beaded… the back, for comfort is not. I wore these to the wild and crazy Martini Parties I used to throw at one of my bookstores. I no longer have the stores, or throw Martini Parties… so in the bag they go. WAIT!!! Not so fast!!! I am hosting a neighborhood get together… Wine and Cheese Under the Trees next Sunday. I can always wear them one more time… and donate them later, RIGHT???

So… What’s in YOUR closet?

Detour of Life – DP#68

detour-sign

 

Phew! This is going to be a tough post to write tonight. Please bear with me.

Driving home from the movies this afternoon I was caught up in a traffic jam. In my frustration to not be late for my next appointment I circumvented the stopped cars and took back roads all the way home. After dropping my son off at the house, I continued on with my day. As I approached the main road again I noticed police, fire, and first-aid vehicles blocking the intersection. A signage truck was put into service flashing an oversized DETOUR message.

Ah… so THIS is what all the backed up traffic miles down the road was about. A car accident.

I sat at the traffic light waiting in irritation to be waved on through. While sitting there I looked around. It took a moment for my brain to register what my eyes were seeing. A first responder was resting under a tree… you could tell he had just been very busy and needed to rest. Off to the side a police officer was leaning on his car hood filling out paperwork. Wait! Was he wearing a skirt??? Ah… a kilt. I took a harder look and noticed that this police man had his official jacket on over a kilt and white spats… obviously responding to this accident on his way to playing bagpipes.

I first saw the pick up truck with a smashed front. Ick! That wasn’t good. However my eyes kept surveying the scene… and focused on the totally smashed up PT cruiser. That’s when it dawned on me someone had died in this crash. The police were measuring and photographing the scene. My stomach lurched a bit and tears sprang to my eyes.

A minute ago I was irritated at the delay… as I assumed were the hundreds of other drivers caught in the snarled traffic; yet now I take a deep breath and calm down. Suddenly I have all the time in the world. Nothing is THAT important that a few extra minutes will matter.

I took a moment to do a little soul searching. I am grateful to know that all my family and loved ones are safe and will be home tonight. Sadly that can’t be said for every family.

My camera was ‘at the ready’ as I drove by. I especially wanted to get a shot of the police officer in his kilt. Out of deference to the dearly departed, I felt it was in bad taste to snap the shutter.

Hug and kiss your loved ones this evening, and be thankful they made it home safely tonight… and pray they always do.

Are you Christian? – DP#66

Mom's Crucifix

Are you a Christian???

How do you answer a question like that? More importantly, why do people ask me that… all the time?

My gut reaction is ‘startled’. I don’t think I have ever in my life thought to ask that of any one, EVER. I find it a bit rude actually. Besides… what difference does it make if I’m a Christian or not??? Would the person asking change their opinion of me if I don’t answer the way they want?? Are they stereotyping me and I’m not fitting in the box they have created for me??

I’m am individual… with thoughts and beliefs of my own. I admit I might be wrong in my thinking at times and am energized when others defend their view, especially if opposite of mine. After all there is nothing more exciting than a spirited conversation. I admit I am not too old to learn new things.

When I’m embroiled in a conversation the question of the person’s religious belief’s never enter my thought process. I may ask them specifics about their beliefs of the topic we are discussing… and unless the topic IS religion, I would never ask.

For the record… I believe in doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. I live a quiet, clean, good life. I don’t drink, take drugs, or commit lewd and/or lascivious acts. I love my neighbor and believe everyone is good. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and commitment. I can’t think of any one I have hurt, although I can’t say the same is true the other way around. I think of others BEFORE myself. So what could I have possibly said or done to prompt such a question??? Why does it matter??? And why is it always asked of me??

I’m confused.

My daughter made a comment a few years ago that has stuck with me. During a conversation a person commented, “I’m a good Christian”. To which my daughter replied, “If you are such a good Christian you wouldn’t have to tell me, I would know by your actions”. Huh!

What are your thoughts??? Have you ever asked someone that? Have YOU been asked that? What was the answer? How would you reply? Do you think it matters???

BTW… today’s photo is of my mother’s crucifix. Given to her by a ‘special someone’, she wore it every day. When she passed away I took it and draped it around the wooden modeling dummy on my dresser where I can see it all the time.

 

 

Not Even Junk Mail – DP#65

Empty mailbox

 

Having a hard time figuring out what this is a picture of??? It’s my mailbox… EMPTY!!!

Today was the very first day in 45 years I didn’t receive any mail. Nothing… Nada… Zip… not even a piece of junk mail!! Wow!!!

The mailman pulled up to our street, got out of the truck and before I knew it got back in and left… without coming to my house. SURPRISE!!! I feel so unloved 🙁   (Just kidding)

 

Split Personality – DP#64

sofa fabric

 

Today I finally got around to ordering new Living Room Furniture. One thing my mom commented on before she passed away was that she never got the satisfaction of choosing her own furniture. Each piece in her house was handed down, or given to her by a family friend. It really bothered her. Yet, when she would come to visit me she enjoyed seeing the family pieces I owned. The corner cabinet in my dining room which she helped her grandfather build, the dining room table which opens up to seat 8 comfortably for our family holiday meals, and the 4 sided bookcase that looks like a house are all pieces I grew up with in one way or another and were given to me as time allowed.

I believe any one can go out and purchase a ‘suite’… but a house is not a home unless you  add your own things to the mix. I have added a few old trunks and a little desk from my childhood home… but my sofa and chairs were sadly due for replacement.

After spending a few days walking in and out of regular furniture stores and being bored… I was thrilled to end up in a place where you can design your own. Now you’re talkin’!!!

Choosing the fabric was the indecisive part. I must have multiple personalities. There is a part of me that wanted a very earthy and subtle design to go with the natural stone fireplace in that room… but my funky side was kicking it’s heels and screaming that I was being way too boring.

Dina, the decorator working with me from the store and I laid out the two ‘color ways’ in my home this morning to decide which one it would be… and found I wasn’t completely happy with either of them. A bolt of ingenuity hit me between the eyes as I moved a few of the fabric selections from one pile to the other. Ta-Dah!!! Success!!! I mixed a few of the funky with a few of the subtle and came up with a perfect combination.

A few years ago I was at a show for the book trade where two guys who dress the stars were giving out advise on what type of clothes you should be wearing. I had on a pair of jeans with a crisp white t-shirt, navy blazer by Talbot’s and topped it off with a big, bold, bright beaded necklace in Hot Pink, Aqua, and White. By the time I finished filling out the questioner and the guys looked me up and down, I was told I was dressed exactly how I should be… Classic with a touch of funk. Well… apparently that is how I am to decorate too.

I’m so excited with my choices and will be sitting on pins and needles (instead of chairs) waiting for them to be delivered in early November.

Woo! Hoo!

 

 

Happy Fall- DP#63

Fall leaves

 

The leaves are beginning to turn a vibrant red here on Deal Lake.

While out taking photographs this afternoon some neighbors stopped their leisurely bike ride to say hello. I met them last year during the neighborhood block party… and haven’t seen them since. We didn’t get to hold an official party this year, but today we discussed holding something smaller in the coming weeks.  It always amazes me what world lies beyond my front door. All I have to do is go out and look.

Enjoy the crisp days of Fall!!

Birdie Bath – DP#61

Birdie Bath

 

Bath time!!! Everyone into the pool!!!

I caught a group of birds taking advantage of a puddle of water in the food store parking lot today. The parking spot is reserved for the local police. Come to think of it… should I be worried there is actually a spot reserved for them??? They are called there that often they need their own spot??? YIKES!