Before I start telling my tales of woe, please understand I know many of you out there have had great success and have found your soul mate online. Congratulations, I am so happy for you… really. But me? Nope… not happening.
A year ago I tried match.com… and have nothing but horror stories to share. Between crazies from Texas saying they would fly out to visit me every weekend… if I was really their true love (gag) to a really nice, intelligent guy who I enjoyed very much until he became possessive and insisted I email no one but him… and he was in Dubai at the time and we have never met!! A real time meeting with one guy became too ‘hands on’ for a first date… and the best date I had was with a neighbor, who I already knew but he found me online so we thought we’d give it a try. Yeah… neighbors is all we will ever be.
This weekend was ‘free communication’ time on eHarmony, so I thought I would give it a try. Without signing up for their paid content, I could at least converse with interested guys, even if I couldn’t see them. Lucky for me I was raised that looks are not as important as what’s inside a person. I felt comfortable communicating with guys I couldn’t see. At least that way I get to really know them without pre-judging.
While filling out my profile I was taken aback at the question of what nationalities I would be interested in. I’ll be honest… I have never thought that way before. I talk to every one… no matter what religion, nationality, or skin color… and if there is ‘chemistry’ then, there’s ‘chemistry. I felt awkward having to choose.
After I answered all the silly questions of what movies I like, books I read, activities I enjoy and more… I was off and running. BING… Bing, bing, bing!!! I was getting ‘smiled’ at every few seconds. Too many guys named Joseph!!! I was getting confused.
I spent the morning answering so many questions as to my likes and dislikes. Which traits will MAKE or BRAKE a possible relationship. Whoa!!! Relationship?? Hold on… I’m only looking for a POSSIBILITY of a relationship.
One guy was kind of interesting; however when I said I wasn’t interested in going to the gym 4 days a week, he ended our communication with, “I hope you find the right guy.” What??? Was he looking for a pal to go to the gym with or a girl to date??? Again… I’m confused.
Some of the questions you are asked really make you ‘soul search’. One guy asked me… “What kind of relationship are you hoping for?”
Yikes! Speak about being put on the spot!!!! After thinking long and hard I answered…
I am not a one night stand kind of girl. I believe in relationships and commitment. I am looking for someone to share my experiences and life with. Someone to wish me good night, someone to always take my phone calls. Someone to walk hand in hand with me. I want a guy who smiles broadly when I enter the room and when I see him my heart skips a beat. It’s really very simple.
To which He replied, “Good Luck.”
Huh! I didn’t think I was asking for too much. Was I?
I have been complimented more in one day than I have in my entire life. “Dang, you are so attractive” to “I love the way you write” have filled my inbox… and yet our communications all end the same… “Good Luck”… moving on… except for one. One guy rose to the top. He stuck with me all day. However, I see red flags beginning to flap in the breeze. By tomorrow evening we will be tired of each other.
I have made up my mind to NOT sign up for eHarmony. Thinking about what I really want has made me realize I will not find it answering stupid questions from strangers online. That system may work for many others, but not for me.
At one time I felt I had it all. Those days are just a faded memory now. If I should stumble upon some guy who can make me feel like that again… I would be ecstatic. In the mean time I will keep doing what I’m doing, living each day as it comes. If it’s meant to be, it will happen… but it will have to be without the help of the Internet.