Book Progress

OK… its official. On February 29, 2012 I took the LEAP and made the decision to finally sit down and write my book!

The working title is:

Wearing High Rise Panties With Low Rise Jeans

I haven’t decided if it’s going to be a full blown memoir… or simply ‘based on true events’. I have been advised to write it as a memoir and change it later if need be. The only reason to consider writing it as ‘based on true events’ is I want to have a little more creative license and leave a few things out, or change the names and places of other events to protect the innocent (or guilty in some cases).

Yeah, yeah… I hear ya. If the person is guilty of being a rotten or evil person, they deserve to have their name in print. I get it. But I don’t want to stoop to their level. There is always more than one side to a story… their’s, mine, and the truth. I’m only trying to be fair.

In another case… the person is a creep. Everyone knows he’s a creep and there is not much more I can tell about them that isn’t already plastered all over the Internet… however I am still struggling with being mean. Although it is a compelling part of my story, so I guess it has to stay in. In any case… these are some of the issues I am coming up against while writing this book.

What are your feelings about this? Please share.

Click on SNEAK PEEK above to read a short excerpt.

UPDATE!!!! October 29, 2013…

I’m STILL plugging away at the book. Honestly though… I’m not working very hard at it. I have been more interested in fixing up my house and putting my life in order. As a matter of fact, I had forgotten I needed to focus on the task of writing and applied for a job at an upscale retail store, you know, to fill my time. Thank heavens I came to my senses and realized I already had enough to do… and working outside the house was not a realistic endeavor. I turned the offer of employment down.

So… I continue to take a stab at the writing while making decisions about the house, my car, dating, and life in general. With my son moving cross-country (with the dog) in a few weeks, and the holidays coming up I just can’t seem to focus.

I felt I needed a deadline. I subscribe to the old saying… “If it weren’t for the last-minute nothing would ever get done.” So… I have marked my calendar for the Spring of 2014 to have the first draft done. I usually meet (or exceed) deadlines… so this should be a piece of cake.

UPDATE!!! March 12, 2014…

I tossed the entire thing into the fire… literally! Every page, every word… up in flames… without a backup any where to be found. The only words left of years of work are the few you will find posted on the “Sneak Peek” tab above.

Why did I do that??? Well… for one thing I didn’t like the back story. The original intent was to write about the time in my life dealing with my husband’s years of fighting ALS and how it affected the rest of the family… from my point of view. Some things were funny, some not so much… and a law suit at the end of it all. In order to bring the readers up to speed on how we got to that point, I had to write a little about my years growing up, my first marriage that ended in the death of my husband BEFORE we could file the divorce papers, and the early years of my second marriage.

I didn’t like what I was writing. There in front of me… typed in black and white 12 point Times New Roman was an ugly story. The more I wrote, the deeper I dug, the more intense it became… until the book was more about THAT time of my life… and NOT the part I wanted to tell.

The world around me became a dark horrible place to be. Getting a full night of restful sleep became impossible… which of course kept the negative cycle spinning out of control.  Bad dreams (not nightmares) would jolt me awake. Some day I might let it all hang out… but this was not the place or time.

So I picked up every scrap of paper that had any writing on it at all… including my journals… some art work… a few cards… and simply tossed them in the fireplace and lit a match. Once the fire died down… I went to bed… and cried off and on before falling into a fitful sleep.

I woke up with no regrets. I was a little ‘off kilter’… you know, kind of like an out-of-body experience had taken place. Tears were still hanging out on the surface of my tear ducts, ready to spill over any second… but for the most part I felt… well… purged.

Now I was faced with the question… what to do with the rest of my life. Many wonderful friends sent me emails of encouragement and relayed their own disappointment of not being able to read the book when it was finished. They warmed my heart… but not my resolve to put it all behind me.

I was beginning to wonder if daytime TV had gotten any better over the years. Trying to imagine myself wrapped in an afghan laid back in the recliner in the afternoon, window blinds closed to the world outside, warm soda can and opened bag of chips/cookies on the table, remotes stuffed into the side of the cushions, watching Judge Judy… I quickly realized after one day of that life I would most likely toss the TV into the fire next.

As luck(?) would have it… My schedule for the day included a pre-arranged lunch date scheduled with a friend… who just happens to be an Independent Publisher. I was a little hesitant to tell her what I had done… however, with a smile on my face I delivered the news and watched her closely for a reaction. After she finished laughing… she kindly explained I was not the only writer who destroyed their ‘work in progress’.

Although I had no regrets at burning the thing, I felt the huge dark cloud that had been hovering around me dissipate into thin air. The world instantly seemed so much brighter… lighter… freer. It was OK. It was kind of ‘normal’ to toss it all out and start fresh!!! And to think I was starting to believe I was going crazy… that it was time to call the men with the straight jackets and happy pills to come haul me away. I thought that working with all of these Dementia patients had finally done me in! Phew! Wow! What a relief!

Another day has passed. I woke from a blissful and sound sleep. Padding over to my desk with a new spirit to ‘git ‘er done’… I flip open my lap top to begin my book all over again with a new perspective.

Spring is just around the corner… I can smell it in the air. I take a deep breath and realize as we travel through this dimension we call ‘time’ we have more than one timeline to track. My age timeline reveals I’m in the Fall… but my life experience timeline states I’m in yet another Spring… the time for re-birth and growth.

I’m back and ready to work. Blogging regularly will NOT be a part of my new life… HOWEVER, I will post sporadically when I feel I have something to share.

Go out and make it a GREAT day!!!

  • Carol

    I think it is better to be kind than right

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  • Cyndee bruno

    :). That wasn’t so hard. You were very brave and probably very wise to stop the book. The past is the past. Looking forward to better and bigger things! Turning 60 was so hard for me but things happened to so many people that I care about months before my birthday it put everything into a different light. I started writing every night things I am grateful for and turning 60 was great!!! Wishing you warm sunny days even if its only 32 degrees!

    • Deb

      Thanks so much Cyndee!!! Hugs!

  • KarenB

    I agree with your pal Cyndee – that symbolic burning of the past was an amazing feat of bravery ! Like burning a life journal. Letting it go doesn’t take away your life’s history or experiences – it takes away some of the power the detrimental experiences has/had over you & your thoughts & the balance of your life remaining. Yes there are deep scars…some cultures wear them as badges of honor, a life lived, history.

    How many Summers do WE have left ?

    For me turning 60 was very sobering in that way of thinking – the rest of our time here HAS TO COUNT FOR US while we’re still healthy & able-bodied. Right now, today, at this moment, I have no personal serious physical illness or major life drama ( & I am very thankful for that! ). Letting go of the deep pains from my past is/was still a challenge every single day. Those negative thoughts will creep in = What if.. why did they, I can’t believe he…couldn’t he even? I work hard to recognize them & release. I’m not that person anymore – I want to burn those memories too.
    People do the best they can do – ( my/your ‘best’ is better) I have to learn NOT to accept other’s failings as a personal attack ( altho it effected me deeply). Most people are Ego driven & selfish = You & I aren’t one of them & we suffer at ‘their’ hands. This life is our lesson & part of that hard lesson is to learn to REALLY LOVE OURSELVES – one of the hardest things for me to do as I wasn’t programmed that way.
    Let it go = forget it, burn it.( OH, YOU DID!) It’s time to go for the ‘happy’ & try to grab onto everything good & interesting that this life has to offer us right NOW! Don’t look back. Burn that bridge.
    YOU ARE a wonderful, interesting, sensitive, artistic being & beautiful Soul who IS so much & offers this world so much. When I look at you I see a magnificent tapestry or quilt with an overflowing abundance of richness (way more than most people). I know it’s hard to recognize these things in ourselves because, being women, many of us were taught to be demure & to defer to others = be ‘lady-like’ = whatever the hell that means. I say screw that. Time to live for ourselves – time’s a wastin’.
    Come over for tea Deb = we’ll have a cuppa & a cookie & talk about how wonderful we are & all the great things we’re doing & going to do! Me, Today I am painting a fabulous new door with my fabulous paintbrush for my fabulous new bathroom-to-be! Hey! It’s all ‘relative’ = new door/new bathroom = same as the winning lottery or a trip to Spain…It’s ALL GOOD to me!
    As long as I am breathing & upright I will grab this day & squeeze what is GOOD out of it. We have to try to believe it & focus on the positive.

    • Deb

      I can just see you painting that door and having a BLAST!!!

      I still don’t regret burning the ‘work in progress’. It really was soul cleansing… and looking back I see it was something I had to go through to get a better perspective on my life today. Now I am ready to sit down and type the hell out of this book and get it out of my head!! As you so simply stated… “How may summers do we have left?”

      Thanks so much for your kind words!!! I love your positive SPIRIT! Muwah!

    • Janet Lynn Stiles Brown

      You are correct…how many summer’s do we have? In a moment’s time, so much can be taken from us, or alter our abilities, our “normal”–whatever that is! 2013 had several of those realities for me…friends, situations. So, we flex into new territory! Or it happened to me…New people — and an adorable set of grandtwins.

  • Cyndee bruno

    KarenB. I love your “two cents”. Wishing everyone a wonderful summer all year long!

  • KarenB

    Thanks Cyndee – Hey we’re all in ‘this’ together & it’s nice to watch out for each other.

  • Michelle Arbeau

    Can’t wait until you’re finished the book!! 🙂